i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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