There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
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yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
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In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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