Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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