so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
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Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
MIDGETS
????
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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