just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize