Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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