ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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