im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize