We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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