fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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