my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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