I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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