He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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