Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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