Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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