ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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