I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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