Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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