Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i'm watching the fashion show on bravo

(262): View more from Wisconsin

you're cheating on project runway?

(919): View more from North Carolina

if you can't score coke, you buy crack.

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(919): i'm watching the fashion show on bravo (262): you're cheating on project runway? (919): if you can't score coke, you buy crack. http://tfl.nu/k398

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(970): View more from Colorado

The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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(970): The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito. http://tfl.nu/8dlm

Replies (23) Good night (494) Bad night (3202) Order T-Shirt
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(812): View more from Indiana

I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!

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(812): I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah! http://tfl.nu/iijo

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.

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(864): Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint. http://tfl.nu/at98

Replies (14) Good night (4137) Bad night (674)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.

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(318): my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/jzo6

Replies (6) Good night (4312) Bad night (954)
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(209): View more from California

is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.

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(209): is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety. http://tfl.nu/58yh

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(519): View more from Ontario

DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.

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(519): DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS. http://tfl.nu/77gw

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(813): View more from Florida

Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.

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(813): Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house. http://tfl.nu/ztm5

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(917): View more from New York City

I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM

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(917): I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM http://tfl.nu/bjwa

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(254): View more from Texas

Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.

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(254): Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me. http://tfl.nu/nie2

Replies (9) Good night (3781) Bad night (845)
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(407): View more from Florida

You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.

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(407): You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that. http://tfl.nu/dvk8

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(443): View more from Maryland

Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking

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(443): Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking http://tfl.nu/hur0

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(317): View more from Indiana

His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...

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(317): His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip... http://tfl.nu/pj0o

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(410): View more from Maryland

Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar

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(410): Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar http://tfl.nu/p9qp

Replies (6) Good night (2940) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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(309): View more from Illinois

But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.

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(309): But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something. http://tfl.nu/dcqe

Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt

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