are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I could fuck to npr.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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