Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
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It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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