I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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