so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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