He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize