Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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