He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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