I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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