plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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