a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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