yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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