with your own penis?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You ate ashes out of my bong
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize