She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I will pee on everything he values.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize