just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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