on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
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He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
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Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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