i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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