I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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