the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize