Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize