How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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