I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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