He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
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Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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