You're completely useless in the revolution.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize