if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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