just come out here and I will go home with you...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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