I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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