The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize