i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize