Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize