my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
A bitchslap is in order.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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