I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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